Again, planning for negative outcomes when making amends and discussing these plans with a sponsor or support group can provide essential emotional preparation. Taking the time to let the other person express how they were affected can promote a more effective healing process, as well as make things less ‘about us’ and more about the person affected. This means maybe putting away the cell phone if you are with someone making amends, or turning down background noise if you are making a call to make amends.
Why Is Making Amends Part of the Recovery Process?
Addiction is often isolating, which can make quitting difficult. With proper treatment, individuals can become sober and turn their lives around. In a sober living house, members can transition out of treatment and adjust to their new substance-free lifestyle. They also have the opportunity to work on repairing their relationships with friends and family that may have been damaged because of their previous addiction struggles. This can be difficult to grasp; your sponsor or spiritual advisor can help.
Harmony Haus
If you are going through a 12-step program, you’ll notice that honesty, accountability and acceptance are overarching themes. It may be self-evident why these are so challenging for people in recovery, who have become so accustomed to hiding the truth about their behavior – even from themselves. Completing a rehab program is an accomplishment to be proud of, but it’s only the first step on a lifelong journey toward sobriety.
Individualized Treatment
The only thing we can show people today is our love, commitment and patience. It’s not one we use too frequently in our everyday language, but it still holds significant meaning. To make amends means to apologize for something you have done or for wronging someone in some way.
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Talk with your sponsor or others in your recovery community about what has worked for them. If your actions match your intentions and you reach out in person, you are doing the next right thing to right past wrongs. And remember, if you are feeling ashamed about mistakes made and damage done living amends during your using days, you are not your disease. Remember, this is a Twelve Step process that can provide a platform for healing, but the person we are reaching out to may not be at the same place in healing as we are. We are only in control of our part—making and living the amends.
- It is also crucial to understand that the other person may never be ready.
- In some cases, a combination of both direct and indirect amends may be necessary.
- Many alcoholics are guided through the steps by a sponsor, but some individuals complete the steps on their own.
- If interacting with someone re-traumatizes you, or increases your risk of relapse, you might want to reconsider approaching them.
- And love motivates individuals to give selflessly, positively impacting the lives of others.
cared to see clients doing well…
Maybe they are guarding their heart because they are afraid we might relapse or say something hurtful. After all, years of drug or alcohol abuse will not be undone with an apology or a few simple words. We need to prove to our children that we are seriously addressing our addiction, not just offering cheap words. Contact someone today if you’re struggling to make amends or feel overwhelmed. With the proper support, you can begin your path to recovery and start moving forward.
- Again, planning for negative outcomes when making amends and discussing these plans with a sponsor or support group can provide essential emotional preparation.
- If possible, schedule a time to speak with them in advance to prepare for the conversation.
- Think of amends as actions taken that demonstrate your new way of life in recovery, whereas apologies are basically words.
While it’s challenging to admit that you caused someone else pain, you must keep moving forward and concentrate on the things you have the power to change, not what you can’t. Ideally, after an honest assessment of how you harmed someone, you’d have a chance to make direct amends to them and actively work to fix the damage. For instance, when apologizing to someone you stole money from, you should also return the amount you took. Though some of these supporters might be new friends you meet in treatment or group therapy, it’s also vital to reconnect with people you knew before seeking help. However, they will likely still feel hurt by how you treated them and might be hesitant to forgive you, no matter how sincerely you apologize. Making amends goes beyond merely saying you’re sorry because it involves demonstrating your earnest commitment to change.